Well, we’ve been home for over a week now. i’ve deliberatley not written anything on here. I’ve been focusing on sorting my photos, seeing friends and family, spending time with Linda and getting used to being back in the UK. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my experiences in Nepal though. About the people I met, the things I saw and the things I heard. It’s impossible to experience everything we did over there and not be changed. I find myself not so much changed by the things I saw – yes I saw some harrowing things, but they were all so fleeting! It’s hard to reflect on an experience that was such a blur.
I was definitely changed by the people I met. Everyone I met over there changed me in some way – some more than others. I’m trying to be an intentionally more joyous person. Years ago, I thought of myself as a really positive person, always looking for the best in people and in situations. Various things that happened in my life have knocked that out of me a wee bit, but I’m done with that. I want to be positive again, and I’m going to be. I can make the choice to be like that – my new friends have taught me that much! There is so much around me that is truly awesome and God-sent, I want to make an effort to see these things and to take the time to wonder at them.
Dancing, I want to keep check on the pride that as often held me back from expressing myself. I don’t want to be embarressed to dance, like I have been in the past. Dancing is such an incredible experience. At the Crossing the Bridge conference, despite all our cultural and societal differences, we were all brought together at many points during the week by the language of dance. Whether it was just shoving some music on and doing our own thing, surrounded by others doing their own thing or learning a dance from another culture. When the music played and we started dancing, all the language and cultural barriers were forgotten and we all just melted into the moment, into the atmosphere of enjoying ourselves and having fun together!
On a more serious note, my faith has been seriously challenged while I’ve been away. I’ve been guilty over the last few years of becoming quite apathetic in my faith, not really putting as much effort or focus into cultivating and feeding it as I should have. I’ve allowed myself to often become sucked into the trap of Church politics – at a local and national level. The people I met, the strength of faith I met in Nepal has really challenged me to climb out of my rut, to stop being so blasé aboutmy faith. In Nepal, I met Christians who live in countries where Christians are persecuted, I met people who live close to villages where Christian homes were burned and a family burned alive, I met people who themselves have suffered for their faith, and through all of this, I saw more passion for God than I ever have at any large Christian event in the UK – including the General Assembly, the National youth Assembly, CLAN gathering and Spring Harvest. There were none of the trappings of the institutional Church that we have here, or they were at least not as pronounced and deified as they are here!
One thing that struck me was the timing of the trip and how that challenged me. Since 2001, at this time of year, I have attended the Church of Scotland General Assembly 6 times as a Youth Rep. It has always been a great experience, meeting other young Christians, being involved in the Church of Scotland at that level, seeing how decisions are made and meeting many of the people working in the Church of Scotland. But it is also a week of religious trappings, of institutional mumbo-jumbo, of pedantics, arguing over individual words and, dare I say it, tension between Christian and Secular living. I thought I would miss not being there this year. I didn’t, not a bit. Hearing the stories I did in Nepal, encountering the people and Churches that I did helped me realised how skewed my focus has so often been in my faith and the outworking of my faith. I have put to much effort and energy into things in the Church that, ultimatly, don’t make that much of a difference, compared to the difference standing firm in your faith in the face of persecution and hatred does. It has not all been in vain, although undoubtedly some of what I have been involved in has been. It’s just been an eye opening experience. I don’t judge myself, or others, for the perspective I worked from, I worked from and with my personal experiences as I knew them. But I am so thankful that I have had the opportunity to have my eys opened and my mind opened to the reality of wat Christians in parts of the world are facing. I’ve always known about the persecuted Church, about Christians who live in fear of attack because of their faith, but knowing about such things is completely different from knowing people who live with such things. I pray I never forget what they taught me about following and serving God.
I can only imagine that over the next few weeks and months, more and more thoughts will pour out of me about this trip, perhaps not always in the most sensible order! Let me thank you all in advance for your prayers, support and encouragement in working through these thoughts.
Peace Out
Thanks for sharing your reflections Chris. I am doing a talk at a church in Edinburgh this Sunday. I hope you don’t mind me including some of your comments about how the world church and Christians from other cultures challenge and reinvigorate your faith.