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	<title>Endure Fort&#187; victory</title>
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		<title>Lost?</title>
		<link>http://choskins.co.uk/2008/09/29/lost/</link>
		<comments>http://choskins.co.uk/2008/09/29/lost/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Sep 2008 22:55:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chris Hoskins</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Iona Fraser]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[canada]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[linda]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prayer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[team]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[victory]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrishoskins.wordpress.com/?p=16</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s wierd the things that pop into your head, and when they decide to. For instance, my beautiful niece is in hospital and struggling, I came on to blog more about that, but I just can&#8217;t get the words out. It&#8217;s so awful(understatement!) whats happening with Iona, Jonnie and Susie. I just can&#8217;t see where &#8230; <a class="read-excerpt" href="http://choskins.co.uk/2008/09/29/lost/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#187;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="color:#ff6600;">It&#8217;s wierd the things that pop into your head, and when they decide to. For instance, my beautiful niece is in hospital and struggling, I came on to blog more about that, but I just can&#8217;t get the words out. It&#8217;s so awful(understatement!) whats happening with Iona, Jonnie and Susie. I just can&#8217;t see where God is in it all. At least not all the time; I can see him in Jonnie and Susie&#8217;s strength as a couple, in the love they have for each other and Iona.  I just don&#8217;t get why God won&#8217;t heal Iona, why all the pain and suffering?  My head tells me so many answers, but they just can&#8217;t satisfy my heart, I don&#8217;t know how or what to pray anymore, how to talk to God about all this. I&#8217;m done seeing my family hurt so much, I don&#8217;t know how much more I can take, it&#8217;s horrible.</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#ff6600;"><br />
</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#ff6600;">Maybe I can get some of the words out&#8230;&#8230;..</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#ff6600;"><br />
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<p><span style="color:#ff6600;">I say it&#8217;s wierd, because I expect things with Iona to dominate my thoughts, and most days they do. I was speaking to Linda the other day, and realised I haven&#8217;t told Iona that I love her, I&#8217;m just so desperate to see her again so I can tell her, I don&#8217;t know why I haven&#8217;t&#8230;&#8230;</span></p>
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<p><span style="color:#ff6600;">&#8230;.But some days other stuff works its way into my thoughts. Thoughts about other aspects of God, sports, work, Linda, sports, Linda, family, Canada&#8230;&#8230;.</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#ff6600;">&#8230;&#8230;.I miss sports. I used to be really active, rugby, football, American Football. It was a huge part of my life,  a huge part that I miss and just can&#8217;t fit into my life anymore <img src='http://choskins.co.uk/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif' alt=':-(' class='wp-smiley' />  I miss the camaraderie, the buzz, the physicality of it all. Some days I feel quite lost in everything thats going on, I used to feel that way at High School a lot, sports always made sense of it. 11 (or 15) guys, all striving for the same goal, the same victory, the same purpose. It was awesome, it still is. It was all so much simpler, when you have the ball in your hands, you&#8217;re in control, you call the shots. Even when you didn&#8217;t have the ball you had a certain amount of control over the game. I miss that too.</span></p>
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<p><span style="color:#ff6600;">I&#8217;m not really sure why i&#8217;m writing all this, I just had an urge to write something somewhere, this seemed the obvious place.</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#ff6600;"><br />
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<p><span style="color:#ff6600;">Cheers for reading, </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#ff6600;">peace out</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#ff6600;">Keep praying for Iona</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#ff6600;"><br />
</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#ff6600;">Chris</span></p>
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